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No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 18:13 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 1 of 13 in Discussion |
| This is the message that the Maroochydore High School, Queensland, staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine . This is the actual answering machine message for the school.
This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework.
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough school work to pass their classes. |
No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 18:15 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 2 of 13 in Discussion |
| The outgoing message:
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: |
No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 18:15 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 3 of 13 in Discussion |
| To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and
several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher, for the third time this year - Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behaviour, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!
If you want this in another language, move to a country that speaks it. |
Oakley
Joined: 11/02/2009
Posts: 22
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 21:51 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 4 of 13 in Discussion |
| Absolutely love it.
Wish there was more of it about. |
No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 22:01 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 5 of 13 in Discussion |
| Oakley, it wouldn't happen in the UK, the PC brigade would make sure that wouldn't happen! |
The-Wicks
Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 22:15 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 6 of 13 in Discussion |
| Bill, message 5 - and more's the pity!!!
J |
Lemtich
Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 22:32 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 7 of 13 in Discussion |
| These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour.
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of? |
Lemtich
Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 22:33 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 8 of 13 in Discussion |
| Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not .... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? ( USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. |
Lemtich
Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 22:34 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 9 of 13 in Discussion |
| Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense
rattlesnake serum.(USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. |
Lemtich
Joined: 15/02/2007
Posts: 1487
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 22:35 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 10 of 13 in Discussion |
| Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first. |
Lilli
Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 22:40 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 11 of 13 in Discussion |
| You two are completely nuts. Brilliant I cant stop laughing.Where they hell do you get them all from. I can never remember a punch line xxxxx |
Mindy
Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210
Message Posted:
25/03/2009 23:17 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 12 of 13 in Discussion |
| My other half thinks I have a feather somewhere, I can't stop chuckling , very very good. |
Lilli
Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081
Message Posted:
26/03/2009 00:10 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 13 of 13 in Discussion |
| they are all good options. we should adopt thier mentality xxxxx |
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