Some new jokes.........

Yvonne



Joined: 16/05/2008
Posts: 273

Message Posted:
05/05/2009 22:58

Last Nickel



A father walks into a restaurant with his young son..

He gives the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.



Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face..

The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts

Slapping him on the back..



The boy coughs up 2 of the nickels, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, the father is panicking, shouting for help.



A well dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman, in a blue

Business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping

a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her

Coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the

Counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the

Restaurant.



Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the

Boy's' testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and

Then ever so firmly.....

Yvonne



Joined: 16/05/2008
Posts: 273

Message Posted:
05/05/2009 22:58

......After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and

Coughs up the last nickel, which the woman deftly catches in her free

hand.



Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the nickel to the father

And walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.



As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the

Father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've

Never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are

You a doctor? "





'No,' the woman replied. I'm with Revenue Canada..'

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
05/05/2009 23:41

Damn kunuks!



Richard

Arthur


Joined: 04/11/2008
Posts: 687

Message Posted:
05/05/2009 23:51

Yvonne- sounded more like a female divorce lawyer to me!!!

newscoop


Joined: 23/12/2007
Posts: 2197

Message Posted:
05/05/2009 23:56

And what the hells wrong with Canucks? (note the spelling please)

Yvonne



Joined: 16/05/2008
Posts: 273

Message Posted:
05/05/2009 23:59

Any Revenue Collector!!! This joke breaks borders - abit like Swine Flu - let's face it; tax is a VIRUS!!!

Coachie



Joined: 29/07/2008
Posts: 2135

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 23:50

Business man arrives at his office on a Monday morning.

His secratary says "Hmm,your garage door is open"

Not knowing what his secratary was on about he went into his office where one of his partners told him his flies were undone.

Realising what his secratary was on about he said

"Did you see anything sporty in there that you fancied"

"no" she replied "Just a crappy old mini with two flat tyres"

tommy13


Joined: 29/04/2009
Posts: 979

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 00:36

3 ladies , english women , scotish and turkish , all are good freinds and get together for tea and gossip once a month. so this one month theyre all together and complaining about there respective husbands , english women says 30 yrs i been married to him , i do everything , he does nothing , i slave all day washing cooking cleaning etc he never lifts a finger , scottish women says . me too , same , cook clean wash this that i do everything he does nothing , turkish women has similar complaints , so by the end of their tea party . english women has a great idea and says , i know , lets do nothing for one month see how they like it , they may actually appriciate us , they all agree to the plan and go home , month later again they all together at the tea party , and proceed to ask each other . well how did u get on , how did u fare ,what happened , english women says , u know the first day didnt see anything , no change , second day nothing , third day woke up couldnt belive my eyes ,

tommy13


Joined: 29/04/2009
Posts: 979

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 00:39

he was cooking his own breakfast , 30 yrs he never laid a finger on the cooker , amazing , wow they all clapped , what a success , scottish women says well first day i saw nothing , second day nothing , third day i woke up couldnt belive my eyes , he was ironing his own shirt , 30 yrs hes never laid a finger on the iron , wow amazing they all clap , then they turn to the turkish lady and ask what about you , how did u do , she says , 1st day couldnt see anything , second day nothing , but on the third day i started to see a little bit again from my right eye !!!