What did your lawyer tell *you*..?

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:51

Start of a long, funny thread I hope... One-liners preferred.



"Don't worry, you have a very good case". After the court hearing: "Come on, I built a case out of nothing for you!"

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:52

I Love you.............

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:53

Sorry, Duch we used Naomi Mehmet and she was always very efficient, concise and helpful - won't have a bad word said about her....





Nick

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 20:58

nick what did she tell you about Esdeger???

the butler


Joined: 22/06/2007
Posts: 1958

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:03

She told us it was safe as houses!!



The butlers wife

Mindy



Joined: 27/10/2008
Posts: 1210

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:10

oh how gullible we are........

mine said edeger.. no problem

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:15

My Lawyer said "Trust me, I'm a Lawyer"

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:21

And I'm a Kiwi partial to sheep, any age will do!



Richard

Dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:24

PTP is just a formality..........................................

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:53

It wont take long and dosent cost very much. (honest)









tootie

Geoff


Joined: 25/06/2008
Posts: 1370

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 21:58

Shud be OK, inshallah!

anthiano


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 105

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:06

its just a formality again !!!!!!!!!!

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:16

" We will regularly monitor the progress of your PTP application with the Ministry.It should take no longer than 18 months "



*this was 30 months ago *

Dusterbruce


Joined: 03/08/2007
Posts: 1125

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:39

We need to charge you an extra thousand pounds

wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:43

Back in 2006 my "lawyer" said to me believe me Mr Jeeem in 3 years time your villa will be worth 4 or 5 times what you paid for it ...your investment is safe..... geeee where do I sign Mr lawyer???

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:51

Jim.....my developer said something similar.

"sign up today,and if you change your mind in 6 months,you can always sell it on for at least 10% more than you've paid"



Laugh?.....I thought my trunks would never dry !

witchfinder



Joined: 10/04/2008
Posts: 155

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:52

you shouldn't have to pay anymore......... to get your Kocan

fazo1


Joined: 23/08/2008
Posts: 406

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 22:52

sorry negnick i used her she has cost me 50k so would'nt recomend anyone to use naomi memet

Sandcastle


Joined: 16/03/2009
Posts: 215

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 23:38

We will keep you up to date all the way....................

pilgrim



Joined: 11/05/2007
Posts: 1404

Message Posted:
06/05/2009 23:51

told us about esheger points system, bought turkish pre74

mfccyprus


Joined: 30/10/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 06:39

a load of lies typical turk cant lie straight in bed

keithr


Joined: 20/08/2008
Posts: 720

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 07:36

"There's a new law coming into force on the... (insert month of choice)...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 09:42

"I prefer cash.."

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:01

marry me.....

stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:23

Please sit down would you like a coffee, ( he had that look in his eyes, here`s another NUMPTY ) I`ve got news for him this Fri Euro Lottery £110 Million and I`m going to win it.

stevie-d

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:27

Stevie, I think £110m is far too much money for one person. Imagine how you would feel is you shared it amongst all your friends here. Come on - you know it makes sense.

stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:33

£110 I would make a lot of people happy Both in the UK and SUNNY TRNC, It`s good to dream.

stevie-d

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 10:43

She also said, i want your babies...........

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 17:49

if you sign here, here and here

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 17:51

What happened next Jock, I'm getting all hot under the collar here )

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:35

I signed.... and...............

wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:43

.......forgot I'm gay!!!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:49

lol you promised you would keep it a secret lover boy....

wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:50

I'm free!!! x x x

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:51

you were allways free....

wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:53

God....your just irresistable...they don't call you big jock for nothing

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:54

Jim i cant take this anymore ...........

wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:56

Ok ...I will leave you alone

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:56

meeting up with wyn and his good lady tonight, will pass on my regards jim....

wackyjim



Joined: 04/06/2007
Posts: 760

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 18:57

Cheers Jock.....enjoy yourself and have a beer on me pal

ROBIN HOOD


Joined: 26/05/2008
Posts: 238

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 19:21

"Of course you always have the penaty clause for late delivery."

dozza67


Joined: 11/07/2008
Posts: 607

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 19:50

We were told and I quote "Safest way to buy property in TRNC" How naive are we? We truly believed this. Was told about 7 years ago.

bachelibelly


Joined: 04/09/2008
Posts: 275

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 20:38

"And they are due to start the Marina soon"

rtddci


Joined: 29/12/2007
Posts: 842

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 21:02

Of course your investment is safe, one day you will thank me....oh that army base is only a minor one, no problem with PTP..

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
07/05/2009 21:39

I'm not gay but my boyfriend is!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Richard

HildySmith


Joined: 02/07/2009
Posts: 1708

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 00:44

If your builder goes broke or dies, you will own what is there!!!!!!

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 00:51

DNA test required please!



Richard

Kitty1


Joined: 15/03/2007
Posts: 683

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 05:39

Our estate agent told us the advocate our buyers chose was totally independent and she'd not had dealings with him before...



...being married to him obviously doesn't count as "having dealings".

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 08:09

Another £250 please to put the transfer details in the newspaper, or you won't get your Kocan !!!!!!!!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 11:04

"I never said that!"

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 11:59

"Just wait till we have all expats financially badly involved in the TRNC building mess - then we lawyers will explain why it's their own fault...".



"... But new buyers* don't have to worry, of course...".



* New laws coming soon.

vincent1


Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 212

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 12:48

' I know it's expensive but your estate takes half of my fee'

vincent1


Joined: 20/07/2009
Posts: 212

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 12:50

Sorry...should read 'estate agent'

girne 29


Joined: 06/12/2007
Posts: 1488

Message Posted:
12/10/2009 13:59

"... But new buyers* don't have to worry, of course...".



seeing as there arent any.

cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:03

if you tell anyone i will have to kill you

cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:04

it only hurts a bit!!!!

cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:05

we are the most respected on the island

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:09

Lawyer: "I'm the Sandman and I know a builder who builds dreams..."

Lazy days


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 847

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:14

Can you make the cheque out to Mrs ****** ******* bexleyheath account Lloyds

Stewart


Joined: 19/07/2008
Posts: 1107

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 11:59

Trust me....I am a lawyer!



"They" keep changing the rules



I am just annoyed as you are



Give me a couple of days to get back to you



My client account no is.......

tattlad


Joined: 13/12/2008
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 12:25

Don't worry about the small print it's not important !!!

Castlemilk


Joined: 12/03/2009
Posts: 174

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 12:39

I will take all your money with the help of your builder[ha ha only a joke]

That will be £1000 upfront please.

kibrissibel


Joined: 18/02/2008
Posts: 562

Message Posted:
13/10/2009 13:02

Oh yes, I was going to tell you about the £2 million mortgage!