Tara's Confession Box

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 03:36

Now don't be shy....

YOU KNOW,

YOU JUST KNOW you have done something naughty in the past....

Time to "FACE UP" and get it off your chest.

You know you want to?



Post (in confidence) to Tara's Confession Box.

Just think of the relief! The sense of welbeing.

The weight just lifted off your shoulders......You know it makes sense.



Tx

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 05:55

Please understand that I would never admit to this if there was any chance at all that it came out in public but I am infatuated with someone and feel like I am cheating even though nothing has actually happened.



I know that I need to put a stop to it but I find it harder and harder to do every day.



The irony is that I only started talking to her to help me with my other problems, I should explain that she is an agony aunt on an internet forum.



Is this the sort of thing you had in mind ????

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 10:59

have you told her about your green and pink willy yet Proger?...oops...was that a secret? I'm sure she'l love you warts and all!! hehehe



DD

dav88



Joined: 01/08/2008
Posts: 605

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 11:21

Tara its really nice that you are willing to give advise to people, I myself had thought of starting up a website where people could address their problems or by simply e-mailing me. Its a great idea and a great feeling to know that you have made someone feel better about something that has been bugging them. But I dont think that anyone could TRULY open up on such a known website where most of the forum members live in this little island where pretty much everyone knows each another. Perhaps you should post an e-mail address and they can confide in you via e-mail where it will be private and other members will not know about peoples private issues ?

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 12:45

Whats with the green & pink willy?

sc

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 13:11

Sunnycee...see the thread titled 'funny joke, but it's true'....it will all become clear...



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 19:34

DD,

I think you may have solved my problem without even trying, it's hard to be infatuated with somone who dissappears off the face of the earth,



Thanx, Paul



PS. The colours seem to be fading now so I think the Canastan cream is working. I just wish it didn't taste so bad !!!

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 19:38

Paul,



Has your missus not told you the make up just washes off mate nothing to worry about........

harita


Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 1343

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 19:39

Don't know what the green is .. Sounds serious .. The pink is definitely lip stick ..

mmmmmm



Joined: 19/12/2008
Posts: 8398

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 19:48

Prodger1 / The Saints



Is there something concerning the colouring of our appendages that ethnic Ru women might like that I've been missing ;) ?

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 19:57

Mark



Vinera said something about Green and Pink cotton candy (Candy Floss) ;-D

dodger



Joined: 29/07/2007
Posts: 1895

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 19:59

How do i get out of this bloody closet,

Paul.

simbas



Joined: 16/07/2007
Posts: 5943

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:15

Hold on Paul i will open the door

Pat xx

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:33

Proger...so glad i was a help to you....you might want to rethink eating the canestan though



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:41

I couldn't use the other stuff they gave me.



The instructions said to take 2 tablets after a hot bath every 4 hours, but it took me nearly 6 hours to drink all the water in the bath.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:48

hmmm, well next time Proger, take a shallower bath...that should do it!! btw, i swear that pic is a spitting image of Attaturk!



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:52

For multi M's and Mike, when the wifes do eventually meet up please ask them not to tell Luba about these threads, I get into enough trouble when the Russian girls discuss my attempts at humour.

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:52

try letting the water cool a little proger youll drink it in half the time ,

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:53

Throw in some ice and a few bottles of Citrus Vodka, surely that would end the problem of struggling to drink it..........

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 20:58

Paul,



Know that one, I have been getting some shaking of the head today.......

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 21:05

DD - d'you know, you're right about proger's pic. The more I look at it, the more it looks like Attaturk to me, too!



Have a 'shameful' thing I'd like to share with you (although I am a sort of deputy on your other, very successful thread). I DIDN'T VOTE YESTERDAY. There, it's out. I've said it. Phew, what a relief!



PS Seriously, I do feel ashamed, particularly when you appreciate what the Suffragettes (? spelling) went through to get women the vote. If it's any consolation, it's the first time I haven't voted.



Love and best wishes.



Jeannie

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 21:48

To be honest Jeannie, i don't think anyone would blame you for not voting....neither did i, to be honest there is no one in power that i'd want to see run the country...there seems to be no redeeming features for any party, even the Revered Barack seems to be faltering in the popularity contests at the moment!



DD

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 21:51

Thanks DD - of course, it wasn't until I read these back that I realised I had posted on Tara's thread, but addressed my message to you. Sorry!



Anyway, all's well that ends well.



Love, as always.



J

x

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 22:11

Well i am supposed to be a deputy on the said thread, but i'm afraid i've been a little preoccupied to say anything usefull...i should be back to normal working order soon Jeannie xx



DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 22:19

Nurse on on call 24/7 all colour of willys attended to although not my speciality. (for proger 1)

AA meetings arranged although don't do drugs.

Oops sorry Tarra don't want to take over your speciality but maybe we could work together you can do the psycho bit and I can do the hands on.....................

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 22:26

I am not sure the wife would like the "hands on" approach to my problems.

Talking about should be OK though, after all that would only be oral sex and according to a former POTUS that is not cheating !!!!

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 22:26

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! NURSEAWFUL...you're sooooo awful!!! thanks for the titter!!



DD

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 22:30

Paul



I Kinda like the hands on aproach from the medical professional, I don't think Vinera would say anything in fact she would say nothing and just smile but then she knows I have to sleep sometime, then maybe I would need that medical professional to do some more hands on like CPR.........

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 22:42

Daisy glad that tickled your fancy hope you are feeling better.

On a serious note if you need any help when you come home just give me a call!! xx

Proger 1 talking my real speciality although hubbie might not agree!!!

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 22:57

Mike,

Not sure how CPR would get your wedding tackle sewn back on but there you go !!!

At least you wouldn't need to worry about the hands on again !!

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:02

I must say this thread is really tickling my fancy!! I don't know if it's because of all the lovely pills i have to take, or wether mind just lays naturally in the gutter!!....no need for replies!!

Nurse Awful...thank you so much x



DD

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:07

Paul,



Might need the hands on to remove the blade mate but these Tatar women aparently like to snap the blade of in the ribs oh and you will have to chase the dog catch it and retrieve the wedding tackle before it can be sewn back on....

Hmmmm is it really worth it??????



DD



Two of a kind I can't get mine as high as the kerb........

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:17

HEY no probs I can multi task do CPR and sew bits on at the same time. (or maybe just had a glass of wine toooo many tonight)

The Saints what can you not get as high as the kerb, is it your legs, are you a garden gnome or goblin and why do you have to chase the dog???

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:19

Mike,

So what you are saying is I should definately not get a dog and mysteriously loose all sharp edged implements if I am to continue this converstaion.

I would still be worried about Luba's teeth and I like her smile too much to do anything about them.



Oh, well I suppose I will just have to come and join you and Nursy back in my ancestral home, just to the left of the rain drain between the rusty coke tin and used propyl, propol, polyprp oh damn it, I mean condom.



I think I might be confessing too much. Tara, please help, I have a problem with keeping my gob shut oops wrong page

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:21

Errr DD said "or wether mind just lays naturally in the gutter!!" just agreeing mine does too sometimes even lower if I manage to fall asleep in a ditch...



Cos the missus would feed the wedding tackle to it if I was found out, don't tell me as part of your multi tasking you would catch the dog too!!!!!

everon


Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 956

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:22

i cant help thinking about "grasshopper" in the wardrobe with the rope tied round his neck and attached to his willie bob !!! Tara does this mean i am a pervert or just plain nosey x

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:25

Proger1 I commend you even in your confused state you are using condoms. (Scottish weans were weel taught)

Always practise safe sex,

Tara my apologies if I am interupting your session please help these poor unfortunates.

Sorry me as I am still confused about the dog maybe I need help to!

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:28

the saints (aye rite) Finally got the bit about the dog no probs will delegate that one and catch the dog

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:30

yes Tara....come and save us all!! I'm afraid i don't seem to be very good at this problem solving malarkey as you....i'm too busy rolling around the gutter clutching my belly and pointing at The saints....hows that for multi tasking????



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:33

I didn't use the condom Nursy, I use it as a pillow in my little gutter abode. I use the coke tin for an ashtray

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:36

DD it would be better if you were pointing at the dog rather than me so Nursey could retrieve the important bits...........

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:38

dogs too busy eating something pink and squishy.......gulp!!



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:39

I really doubt if you would be able to concentrate on anything at this point Mike, you should just leave it up to Nursy at this point to get her hands on your important bits and I am not o sure DD pointing and laughing at anything would help the situation much

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:43

proger

We certainly can't accuse you of being big headed if you use a condom for a pillow ,well what can one say..!!!!!!!!. I approve of the use of the coke tin for medicinal purposes of course!.........................................



DD you are doing great as Tara's deputy keep taking the drugs girl!!

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:45

DD Bang goes your breakfast the dog has got the sausages

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:46

er, i'm not so sure it was a sausage...i's too busy laughing!! Are you really a nurse and do you live in NC?



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:47

And somehow DD we have gone full circle and its now the colour is back to pink.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:48

hehehe, at least it's not green anymore...thank the lord for small mercies is what i say!!



DD

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:50

My missus has just read this thread while I was in the bathroom just checking, get's difficult to tell reality from fantasy sometimes on these threads.... She thinks we are crackers.



Paul,

She said don't worry she will not tell Luba what we post as she would not believe it anyway, nobody would.....



Don't know what she is implying....

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:52

Yes DD for my sins I am really am a registered nurse and I have lived here in sleepy Lapta for 5 years.



And before from the PC police comes along I go back to the UK enough to keep up my registration.

Long story DD.



And if you think this funny DD you should hear some of my REAL stories!!!!!!!

Now that could be another thread the foreign objects I have found!!!!

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
05/06/2009 23:55

oooooooooooo, you really must come over to my little place in karsiyaka for drinks...and you can tell me funny stories!! hahaha



DD

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009

we can discuss Progers multi coloured willy....and the poor dog that ate it!!



DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:02

Just thought I would interupt the fun to say a huge thanks guys, I am peeing myself here with the comments.

I usually just end uop laughing at the posters on the forum who take things to seriously. It makes a really nice to change to be laughing with some.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:05

I concur (love that word) Proger...with all the crap going on these days, a bit of light hearted bantering does the heart and soul the world of good!! Now...go clean yourself up before the wife see's the mess you've made!!



DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:09

No probs Proger I have a good supply of catheters so we can save your trews!!!!!

Laughter is still the best medicine in the world,,,

And we Scots are the best at it.......oops this could take a serious turn.

Anyway get well soon DD and nite nite folks I have to be up at 3am to make sure my best friend gets her taxi to larnaca,

And got to sneek back to bed before hubby notices I am missing.

Nite nite xx

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:10

night night Nurse....



DD

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:10

Oi. I went away for 24 hours, came back and this happened!!!!



This was a thread for confessions. I have seen just one!

Thank you proger1. x

I really don't believe you lot.

I give you a platform to "bare all" and what happens........?



Get down in your conscience, get down into your soul, give me real REAL confessions of very very naughtiness......



Tx

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:11

DD,

It wasn't my Willy. It was Mike's.



Wait a minute, that could have been Pink to start with. Oh damn, I have just checked and I am back to square one.



I had a similar problem when I was younger. My dad was very religiuos and lectured me continuously about the perils of sexual thoughts and that they would turn me to stone but I ignored him and then 1 day I found a porno movie and sneakily watched it, after 5 minutes I ran from the room screaming and when my dad finally caught me and asked what was wrong I said "you were right" pointed at my crotch and said "It has already started"

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:11

hmmmm.....sorry miss...i tried my best.....these are an unruly lot....hehehe



DD

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:12

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA PROGER....F......ING HILARIOUS!!!!!!



DD

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:13

i think it's my turn to pee myself!!



DD

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:17

ooooh Nurse you are awfull, Goodnight.

Must agree Paul it has been a laugh.



Tara thank god you are back, my wife has found me out, she waited until I was asleep snapped a blade between my ribs, cut off me wedding tackle and fed it to the dog, the dog ran off, DD is lying in the gutter laughing, nurse awful was trying to remove the blade, do CPR and catch the dog to sew me bits back on but she is now knackered and gone to bed, I am now lying in a ditch just to prove to DD that my mind is on a lower plane than hers, blade still in, wedding tackle missing and DD is the only one in stitches, where do I go from here. Tara Heeeeeelp

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:25

Spacoina noche, preeyetna snavideenya Nursy. (Good night, sweet dreams)

Give my best to your hubby if he wakes up, wait I mean give your best to your hubby if he wakes up, No this is all going wrong.



Tara,

I used to have really strange sexual dreams about a leather bound dominatrix and sometimes beastiality but now I am terrified of dogs does this mean I will start laughing at the mistress. She does have a bloody big whip you know.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:26

tara's gone to bed...



DD

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:28

Oh dear looks as though I am knackered then........... or is that De Knackered ;-)

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:30

i'm off too now...all this typing...i'm blooming knackered myself now!! night night all...





DD

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:30

If nursy has gone to bed and Tar has gone to bed then you are definately in some trouble Mike.



I think its up to DD or Vinera now

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:31

You lot are crackers but what a laugh. poor prodg and mike. dd you dont give up your day job. let Tara take control. Nurse yo are so awfullllllllllllllll. what a lovely treat no arguments or slagging off. keep it up xxxxxxxxx

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:34

Vinera has given up she thinks we are crackers.



Hi Lilli, it has made a pleasant change, I am sure we will try to do more of it......

Don't know about keeping it up though I have to get it back first ........lol

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:40

Hi Lilli, Thanx again guys. Can't wait till tomorrow night when I get to catch up with this thread after its had a whole day of people trying to follow it.

I suppose I had better go and do some work now.



If a mans body only contains enough blood for either an erection or the brain and not both, how can we be expected to find the clitorus without help ?????

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:41

Paul



I have a map I will email you a copy.......

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:46

I had one of those before Mike, I read it in the pub before I went home and ended up in a 24 hour chemist asking for 2 Haddock and chips.

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:49

I put the coordinates in my sat nav and ended up in Canada at a place called Beaver Creek........

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:50

you crack me up i love you all. jean dont worry i didnt vote either xxxxxx

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:51

I read about that beaver creek in penthouse. I believe it said that liberal use of KY stops the squeaking but Nursy can probably give better advice

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 00:55

I think the one close to me has alapecia or one of those self plucking problems as it has lost all it's hair poor thing, still it smiles when it apears to be shivering..........

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:06

Wow...Wooopie. I'm back.

I had to go to bed (but enough of my sexual activities)

Anyway he has now gone home



So back to business.

Tara's confession box...........



I was a vv naughty girl once, but we will talk about this tomorrow.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:07

cant wait tara xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:14

Looking forward to it Lady T

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:22

Laugh i have never laught so much in all my life.thanks to you all,first thing in the morning i shall start my assessing you all for your individual couselling appointments perhaps it may take a continual progress of watching and reading of future threads....but i sure have a good idea......ya all bonkers...and i just love it.



Spider,x

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:22

Tata

You go girl!

sc

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:25

Went to bed feeling sleepy........ or was it happy or grumpy? spose i should have asked his name really!!

Do you think I need therapy? lol

sc

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:31

Sunnycee you just have to let it all out!

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:31

sorry meant Tara not Tata!

sc

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:34

sunny you have to go through 7 to find out the real names. i would keep happy as long as he makes you happy xx good night sleep tight or happy or grumpy etc

Arthur


Joined: 04/11/2008
Posts: 687

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:37

Tara,



i have to confess that I'm finding myself more "on all fours" with Wynyardman's views. Have I been drinking too much wine? Should I be taking the tablets? Have I been [unknowingly] inhaling the smoke from someones "wacky baccy"?



More importantly, have I still got any friends??



Is there anybody there................................

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:37

Lilli

Is it polite to ask before or after?(or during)

sc

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:37

Tara,

ref msg 77 - I was a vv naughty girl once, but we will talk about this tomorrow.



ME TOO !!!



I feel much better now that I have finally said it, I'm free, yay.



Actually that could be the cause of my other problem but the Vietnamese Doctor, well Vet said the operation went without a hitch. At least thats what I think he meant "Điều này sẽ không bao giờ làm việc. Tiếng Anh crazy"

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:39

That;s OK been called worse....

I really cannot get my head around the fact that grown men have sexual conotations about thigh length boots! What's all that about then?

Just keeps most of your legs warm!

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 01:40

msg 83

That wouldnt be a pleasant sight lol

sc

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 02:05

Proger!

when were you a naughty girl? Is there something your holding back on?

Tara!!

Where are you!!!!!

sc

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 02:14

They just make my legs all sweaty !!

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 02:16

Hicup! Hicup! still here, or justabouts!!!!

Tara Problem Page/Confessional - Normal Service Resumed Tomorrow!

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 02:19

I think people might be beginning to take me too seriously !!!!!!!

The-Wicks


Joined: 27/05/2007
Posts: 2279

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 02:21

Arthur - you poor soul. I am sort of stepping in here - Tara and I are partners and so I feel I can offer an opinion in good faith. Now, I know nothing about donkeys, apart from the fact that they are loveable creatures of a simple disposition. You mention Mr Cooper - I aplogise, but cannot see where he enters the equation. Arthur - let's move on. Of course you have friends. WE are all your friends.



With regard to the wacky baccie - don't worry about it - you know the old saying "If It Feels Good - Do It".

Jean

x

CyprusChill


Joined: 08/05/2009
Posts: 666

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 04:27

After dusk shag, golf course and aromatic gardens, beach, on a mountain / hill, middle of a scary woods, english literature / poetry teacher ... naughty is part of life ..

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 10:58

Message for The Saint.

Oh s....t I have just had a horrible thought!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had square sausage for breakfast you don't think it could be...........................................

your lost sausage squashed by a car OMG doesn't bear thinking about.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 11:32

Nurse, it didn't get squashed, the dog ate it, remember...come on ole girl, keep up!! tut



DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 12:20

Morning DD How are you this morning

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 12:49

I am very well Nurse....today is better than yesterday, might not even take a pill till later, i feel that good!! Appetite still not back, but the tech said the morphine would mess me up for about a week, so not worried! How are you, you had quite a late night last night ;)



DD

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 13:03

Oh s...t DD I remember now, the dog ate the sausage, the snake ate the dog ,Proger killed the snake and sold it to the Karsiyaka butcher where I bought the sausage from. OMG We will now have to procure a prothetic part for the Saint.

And now nearly forgot to tell you I have done a deal with the Lapta laundry for all those that peed themselves last night......

Tired today DD doesn't help that I feel as if I have cracked a rib sometime in the middle of the night but my friend go away OK she has just texted to say she has landed in Glasgow.

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 13:06

and suddenly the mist clears....and everything becomes...well....clear......good for you nurse, LOL....don't worry about your friend leaving, you will soon have a new one there in the shape of me!!!



DD

fire starter


Joined: 19/06/2008
Posts: 3401

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 13:22

well i don't usually confess, cos i don't do anything wrong or bad, but today i saw red and was a bad girl.

you see i have had this strange dutchman with a dog called rowlo, they are stalking me on the internet forums, both north and south i just can't shake him off. he is so insulting and rude , for some unknown reason he keeps telling everyone our kennels are closed?

which they are not ,of course.



so today, i was rude, insulting and even swore on the forum, so now you have it ,sins of the fire starter.

i must say i won't repent and may even sin again today or tomorrow.

Sunnycee


Joined: 18/05/2009
Posts: 192

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 13:24

msg 101

Was going to have sausage casserole tonight but I think after all this I'l make a shepherds pie lol

sc

daisy dukes


Joined: 06/09/2008
Posts: 3815

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 13:28

Probably a wise choice sunnycee....i also wont be eating sausages for a while...gulp!



DD

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 16:57

fire starter



Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, just chuck a pint of stones bitter this way and all your sins are absolved, you have absolution, for penance please say three bloody he**s.



Speaking of stones have you seen a great dane running around carrying some wedding tackle nurseawfull should not be far behind it trying to catch it?????



a Saint

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 18:01

Give me the location and I will catch it . We can do a transplant for the sausage you lost!!!

Will need assistants for the op please send CV's to Nurseawful. Thank You

racoonchic



Joined: 17/11/2008
Posts: 3223

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 18:13

i hope this does not have the same punishments handed out by priests and nuns world wide perverts

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 18:21

Nursey, please make it a requirement that applicants must have cold hands, it's just a thing I have, I like cold hands......



Dog sighted in Karisiaka...... Run Nursey Run.......

tommy13


Joined: 29/04/2009
Posts: 979

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 18:24

ok here goes , i aint told this story for years , when i was 18 i decided to play a practical joke on my friends who invited me to the park after the pub , they hanged out there drinkin , smoking etc , i decided i would scare the living daylights out of them for a laugh , the park was close to my house , so i went home grabbed a pair of mum stockings and a toy buck rogers gun from my younger brothers toy box and headed to the park , when i noticed a bunch of 13 -14 people all around the bench in one part of the park , i snuck up behind a tree and gave ear ! i heard peters voice , johns , yes it was them ! so i put on the stockings and came from behind the tree and approched them , I shouted OI , they all looked round the adrenelin started pumping , i screamed , 'everyone on the floor now ., or ill shoot the lot of you , youve never seen 13 people hit the ground so quick , they started squealing ' we aint done nothing , we are sorry , please please please , it was too much , i burst

TheSaints



Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 18:27

I bet they were on the floor cracking up at the sight of you in a pair of your mums stockings holding a toy buck rodgers gun..........

tommy13


Joined: 29/04/2009
Posts: 979

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 18:29

out into a fit laughter , so much so that i couldnt even breathe , tears in my eyes etc , to them they couldnt work out of i was laughing , crying , i must have sounded physcotic ! anyway after what seemed like 5 minutes of laughter , i came round and wiped the tears out of my eyes and they were all still stiff on the floor , not even flinching , so i started walking around them , we were all skateboarders , i knew the trainers of eacvh and everyone , but when i looked to see who was who , i saw shoes and strange footwear i didnt recognise , i called out , tony , paul .. the said , no no no tony here , no no no paul here , it was 13 blimin strangers !!!!! suddenly from dying of laughter i went into shock , what the f**k have i done , i had made a mistake , it became real , i quickly put the stockings back on , and said , 'Right no body move " and i ran home ,. throwing the stockings and gun into the bushes, i went to change my clothes and come back to the park to find my friends and

tommy13


Joined: 29/04/2009
Posts: 979

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 18:32

tell them what id done , In the mean time , this bunch all ran into the local police station at the same time, screaming , we got held up in the park , guy had a gun , etc etc , obviusly if 13 people run into the station with the same story its taken seriously ,, the police cordoned of the whole area , sent out swat teams , dogs , etc etc ,, i couldnt find my friends , and i saw all the police stopping and searching and questioning everyone who left the park , when i left and they were questionening me , i could here on th epolice radio , late 20 's , black guy , dreadlocks ,black trainers , blue tshirt haha , i was 18 year old white boy with white trainers and a white tshirt , they let me go .... i didnt tell a soul for years , lol

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 19:46

Mental, you are all mental, is it too much sun/booze/sex, abstain for goodness sake while you still have a chance.

By the way, can someone feed my local dogs some sausage or wedding tackle please, anything to stop the buggers barking all night.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 21:20

Hatti, the last thing you want to do is get them used to the taste. The thought terrifies me !!!

AlsancakJack



Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 5762

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 21:27

tommy13

What an interesting life you lead.

taraspring


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 571

Message Posted:
07/06/2009 01:15

Thank you Tommy for sharing this with us all. You must feel relieved.



Clearly the fright put you off cross dressing for life?

So not a totally wasted experience then?



Tx

tommy13


Joined: 29/04/2009
Posts: 979

Message Posted:
07/06/2009 12:44

yeh that was the end of my playing practical jokes , lol ...