Nun jokes before the Sabbath

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 07:26

three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. When they reach the Pearly Gates St Peter says to them " because you behaviour on earth has been exemplary you can go back for 6 months and be any person you want to be"

1st nun says I want to be Sofia Loren and *poof* she's gone

2nd nun says I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone

3rd nun says I want to be Sara Pipalini

St Peter looks perplexed "Who?" he says. SARA PIPILINI replies the nun

St Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry,but the name just doesn't ring a bell. The nun takes a newspaper clipping from her habit and hands it to St Peter. St Peter reads the paper and start to laugh as he hands it back to her.

No sister, the paper says it was the "Sahara Pipeline" that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months!



I know I'm goint the bad fire and if you laugh your'e going to!

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 09:09

oh nurse you reallly are awful but keep them coming xx

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 10:10

Sister Senga & Sister Helen are travelling from Glasgow through Europe in their car. When going through Transalvania suddenly out of nowhere, a tiny wee Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at the nuns.

Aw naw! shouts Sister Senga "Whit are we gonnae dae? " Turn the windae wipers on that will get rid of the abomination" says Sister Helen. Sister Senga switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on & continues to hiss at the nuns.

"Whit are we gannae dae noo/" she shouts. Switch on the windae washers I filled up wi holy water at the Vatican says Sister Helen. Sister Senga turns the windae washer on, Dracula screams as the Holy water burns his skin but stil he hangs on.

Now frantic, Sister Senga screams that didnae work eether whit we gonnae dae.

Quick Quick show him your cross. Aye that shood dae it says Sister Senga as she opens the windae and shouts

Get tae F.... aff the bunnet o ma car ya wee b..t..d !!!!



p.s. translation available)

Trudy


Joined: 25/05/2009
Posts: 369

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 10:14

Haha very funny!

sporty


Joined: 06/12/2007
Posts: 685

Message Posted:
06/06/2009 11:53

a group of nuns out for the day had a bus crash,all died. Anyway they all queue up by heavens gates and st.peter asks the first in the queue if she has anything to confess before she comes in,she says-well i did hold a mans willy once in my hand,st pete points her to the font of holy water and says put your hand in the water then come in,theres a scuffle at the back and an argument brokeout. st.pete says whats going on? one of the nuns at the back says,its sister mary!she wants to gargle in the font before sister suzanne dips her arse in it !!