Joke - Twelve Priests

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 19:10

Twelve priests were about to be ordained. The

final test was for them to line up in a straight row,

totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big

breasted, nude model danced before them.....





Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and

they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she

danced in front of them would not be ordained because he

had not reached a state of spiritual purity.





The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with

no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same

response from all the priests until she got to the final

priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began

to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the

ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.



Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell

came to rest.

He bent over to pick it up...

















......and all the other bells started to ring.







Navek

(Thanks', From Graham)

stegill


Joined: 17/02/2007
Posts: 47

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 20:26

Excellent Navek!!! LMAO

CyprusChill


Joined: 08/05/2009
Posts: 666

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 22:48

I heard these priests were being ordained on a ship at the time, being held in the eye of a storm and the captain had just announced that all would be lost if he could not steer them to a safe port.



These kind of tales always get turned ..

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:14

Hi stegill,



You might be LYAO,

But what about poor Carlos?



Navek

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:20

At the World Women's Conference, the first speaker from England stood up: "At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb."



The crowd cheered...........

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:20

The second speaker from America stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my washing as well."



The crowd cheered.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:21

The third speaker from Ireland stood up: "After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

billyboy1


Joined: 01/06/2009
Posts: 590

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:43

it was obvious that ronaldo would follow kaka to madrid. everyone knows that getting a good brazillian is always followed by an irritating c*%t...

billyboy1


Joined: 01/06/2009
Posts: 590

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:47

girl says to boyfriend " you make love like u decorate" he replies "What...slow with smooth strokes and professional finish?".."NO" she replies "more like the f---ing council, u just bang it up, leave a right mess and i have to finish the f---ing job myself"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:49

Billyboy. Message9. )))

billyboy1


Joined: 01/06/2009
Posts: 590

Message Posted:
19/06/2009 23:53

Teacher is playin a guessin game with the class...." what have i got behind my back" she says " i will give u a clue, it is round , red and juicy".."a tomatoe" says johnny."no, its an apple, but i like the way your thinkin" she says.....Johnny sticks up his hand "miss, guess what i am holding in my pocket"..."give me a clue she says",,,johnny says "its round, hard and has a head on it"..."thats disgusting" she says...."No" replies johnny "its a coin, but i like the way your thinkin"

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 00:02

No 1 Doyen



What 8 discs are you taking with you?



Richard

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 00:02

A woman walks up to an old man sitting in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long, happy life?" "I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of beer, eat fatty foods, and never, ever exercise," he replied. "Wow, that's amazing," she said, "How old are you?" "Twenty-six." he replied.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 00:06

Richard. Message 12. 8 Discs? That's gone right over my head I'm afraid. Sorry.

minertor



Joined: 14/02/2009
Posts: 1238

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 02:46

two nuns were going into town. They took a short cut through the forest where they were attacked and raped by a gang of gipsies, "shall we tell the mother superior we've been raped twice when we get back to the convent" says one. "we've only been raped once" says the other. "but surely, we'll be coming this way on he way back" replied the irst nun.

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 09:33

Beautiful woman walks into see her gynaecologist All at once he can't help himself his professionalism goes out the window.

"get undressed and lie on the bed" he tells her.

He then starts to stroke her thigh "Do you know what I am doing" he says. Yes she says you are checked for abrasions and dermatological abnormalities.

He then starts to stroke her breasts. "Do you know what I am doing now" he says. Yes you are checking for breast lumps which would indibate cancer.

Finally he could restrain himself no longer, he jumps on the couch and has sexual intercourse with her!

He says "Now do you know what I am doing"



"yes she says catching herpes That's why I came here"

Bilko


Joined: 11/03/2008
Posts: 98

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 11:00

Any body got any rude jokes about Imams or Mullahs?

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 16:24

filth.!!!!!!!!!!

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 18:04

great!!

cyprusgaz



Joined: 25/08/2008
Posts: 79

Message Posted:
20/06/2009 21:51

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog . He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl" The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh ,then it will say in newspapers in the morning: 'Brave American saves life of little girl'" – the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" – says the man. "Oh, what are you then? " The man says: - "I am a Saudi !" The next day the newspapers says: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog.