Joke - The Pianist‏

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
23/06/2009 12:48

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag. He sits down and places the bag on the counter.





The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.





The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about one foot high and sets him on the counter. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.



The little man sits down at the piano and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart!

'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.



The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.'



So the bartender rubs the lamp. Suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is standing before him.





Cont....

Navek



Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 2656

Message Posted:
23/06/2009 12:49

The bartender turns to the man and says, 'You know, I think your genie's a little deaf.'

'I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.'...........................

















'Tell me about it!!' says the man, 'do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?'











Navek

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/06/2009 12:53

After working for years, a hooker finally retired and, being afraid of spending the rest of her life alone, she decided to marry. She had been with so many perverted men over the years that she felt she needed a change and would only get one by marrying a virgin male near her age. She took out ads in newspapers around the world seeking a male virgin who was 55 years old. She finally narrowed her choice to an Australian computer programmer. After a thorough background check, she was satisfied that he had indeed never been with a woman and they were married.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/06/2009 12:53

On their wedding night, she went into the bathroom to change into her nightie. When she came back out, she found that her new husband had taken the bed and everything in the room and stacked it in one corner of the room. Thinking this was rather kinky, she said to her husband, "I thought you had never been with a woman."

He replied, "That's true, but if it's anything like screwing a kangaroo, we're going to need all the room we can get!"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
23/06/2009 12:57

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Irishman are caught by a tribe of cannibals.

The Chief of the tribe says "we're going to eat your brains,bladder, heart and kidneys. Then we're going to use your skin to make canoes. However, we will allow you to choose how you are going to die."

The Frenchman says "Gimme ze Zword." The Chief hands him the sword. The Frenchman holds the sword up and says "Viva la France!" then rams it into himself.

The Englishman asks for a pistol, holds it up to his head and says "God save the Queen!" and pulls the trigger.

The Irishman asks for a "fork". The Chief looks puzzled but gives it to him. The Irishman starts stabbing himself everywhere, back ,spleen,head, liver, etc.

The Chief screams " What the hell are you doing!?" and the Irishman says " I'm not letting you use my skin for a canoe!"

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
23/06/2009 14:35

Filth !!!!!!!