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No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
10/08/2009 11:23 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 1 of 7 in Discussion |
| Dear People of the United Kingdom
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 40 years of age and older on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate. |
No1Doyen
Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617
Message Posted:
10/08/2009 11:23 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 2 of 7 in Discussion |
| Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives out. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local MP. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.
Sincerely,
Gordon Brown |
the butler
Joined: 22/06/2007
Posts: 1958
Message Posted:
10/08/2009 11:32 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 3 of 7 in Discussion |
|
Absolutely brilliant, well done No 1 Doyen
The butlers wife |
scoobydoo
Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 2434
Message Posted:
10/08/2009 13:24 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 4 of 7 in Discussion |
| Excellent, very funny!!! |
wanderer
Joined: 05/02/2009
Posts: 1653
Message Posted:
10/08/2009 13:33 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 5 of 7 in Discussion |
| Nice one No1
Its GB government as usual |
Lilli
Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081
Message Posted:
10/08/2009 16:34 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 6 of 7 in Discussion |
| Excellent as usual Billxx |
TheSaints
Joined: 28/01/2009
Posts: 1369
Message Posted:
10/08/2009 16:37 | | Join or Login to Reply | Message 7 of 7 in Discussion |
| That is so good Bill everyone on my contacts list has now been emailed that one......... |
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