How do you deal with Spongers?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 10:04

Scenario: You and your wife are out with another three couples for a few drinks at the local. It comes to your mates turn to buy a drink and he says he's left his wallet indoors. You make a joke of it but pass it off and you all by another round. A few weeks later you all meet up again. Whilst you are in the Pub your friend (who left his wallet home before) said he was just popping to the cash machine. He returns a few minutes later saying that the cash machine isn't working. You all laugh it off again and you all buy another round.



You are due to arrange another evening out with the same couples. Do you invite the friend who did not pay his way the previous two times?

cooper


Joined: 23/10/2007
Posts: 3386

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 10:08

Normally i would wring a sponge out in a bucket but in this case i would wring his neck

Rottolover



Joined: 21/06/2009
Posts: 519

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 10:17

It's a sad but true fact that people like this actually do exist...I've met two so far in my life.



But I'm also a very charitable man, so I'd give this bloke one more chance and invite him. However, when there, I'd simply say that as he missed buying drinks on the two previous occasions, it was now his turn to buy the first TWO rounds.



He will either have another excuse, or laugh and accept his fate....

Cazzy


Joined: 02/08/2009
Posts: 73

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 10:17

No1Doyen.

I would have to say ( Martin ) Samson was strong, and Solomon was wise, but they both paid when it was their shout.

Stubs


Joined: 01/07/2008
Posts: 641

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 10:24

It depends on how good friends you were.



If they are really good friends you might know if they are having some financial problems. If they are and you want to treat them to a night out, rather than picking up the tab give him some money before you go out so that he can take his turn going to the bar without feeling like a sponger.



If it is the opposite and he is a stingy git when it is his round ask him what he wants and when he answers tell him what you want too. He will soon get the hint

titledeed


Joined: 26/07/2009
Posts: 13

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 10:40

I have had to deal with this on many occasions,they pop into the loo when its there round,keep half inch of beer in there glass ,there legs drag the closer they get to the pub door,look up to the ceiling when the barman asks what are you having,i have just stopped drinking with these people,why would i want to be with company who treats me like a fool,what i do say these days,which is true, i am a slow drinker,cannot keep up with you,so will buy my own,it is a very expensive enjoyment today to go to the pub (UK) not like the days of 3/- a pint (will be corrected on this one )

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 10:42

What did they say to you bill, whats your next excuse...............

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 11:06

Rottolover, message 3... "But I'm also a very charitable man,"



Jock will be calling you in a minute )

Pipie


Joined: 05/01/2008
Posts: 5499

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 11:44

Invite yourself over to there place ask them to get 3 bottles of the most expensive wine and a take away and you will give them the money when you get there , when you arrive say that you have forgotten the cash for the wine/meal , but ask them to call it quits as they owe you for a meal !!!!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 11:52

Put one on him, and say, Never Mistake Goodness for Idiocy.......

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 11:54

Jock. Bit philosophical today aren't you?

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 16:01

I know how I would deal with a lot of the spongers here in the UK.

cronos


Joined: 26/10/2008
Posts: 2093

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 16:04

Bring back the birch ?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 16:21

What if the friend had told you that he had been out of work for 4 months after getting laid off. He didn't want to tell his wife or children and had been carrying on as though everything was normal - to the extent of getting up at 6 in the morning and pretending to go out to work?



Now what do you do?

cyprusairsoft



Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 2066

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 16:23

buy him a beer

Geoff1131MK11


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 396

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 16:25

Tell him to speak with his family, s--t happens and you have to deal with it,

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 16:25

Hi Bill - this is a tricky one. I actually knew someone, many years ago, who did something similar. Although they had no children, he got fired from his job and didn't tell his wife. He continued to act as though he was still going to work every day, spending days in the library, etc. Needless to say, it all came out in the end, they ended up with a lot of financial problems and their marriage broke up.



Having said all that, don't know what I'd do about the 'round dodging' - I tend not to like that in a person one little bit.



Regards.



Jean

Pipie


Joined: 05/01/2008
Posts: 5499

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 16:26

Tell him to be honest , first to his wife and children , and if he was genuine he would find a reason not to sponge . And if he did get laid off work in the UK he would be able to treat everyone on this board with the benefit he would get !!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 19:11

I would hump his wife..............

mahdel


Joined: 28/05/2009
Posts: 255

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 19:21

if he was out of work and had financial problems he probably shouldn't be out drinking... but i digress.



I've had friends like this. eventually we either stopped going out with them or when they came along everyone bought their own drinks individually. Did you check to see if the cash machine was indeed broken? If it was then it's really only once he's not bought drinks and he should get another chance. Otherwise, tell him clearly when you arrive that he owes you a couple of drinks (with a smile of course). If he makes excuses, tell him he's a cheap git.

catalkoykid


Joined: 15/02/2009
Posts: 1190

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 20:00

how about this 1,you got out with another couple,have a few drinks nice meal the bill comes up,180tl you put a 100tl in same as the other man obv 20 tl tip, and as you walk away your partner notices the other guy is bining the tip

Woodspeckie


Joined: 25/01/2009
Posts: 2263

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 20:09

We took some friends on holiday to Lanzarote we hired a car for a week and I paid by credit card but had to pay £3 for petrol he gave me half and taking it back with the same amount of petrol I got the £3 back I gave him the £1.50 and he took it, I had done the driving all week.

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 20:12

Simple, Just say you cant afford to buy rounds and eveybody buy there own drinks.

Or if your out with a few good friends get a tab and split the bill.

HildySmith


Joined: 02/07/2009
Posts: 1708

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 21:35

Don't go out with him, don't invite him to go out with you - if you allow it to continue he will continue.

When he realises that he has no friends who will go out with him - the penny will drop. They he has to make amends and he has to find ways of getting his friends back.

You work hard for you money - if you want to chuck it away there are much more worthy causes that an tight fisted XXXXXXX

HildySmith


Joined: 02/07/2009
Posts: 1708

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 21:38

Re message 14

If he has lost his job, what is he doing going out drinking, when he has a family at home.

Your being used and abused - stop it and stop him - now

sporty


Joined: 06/12/2007
Posts: 685

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 22:55

people like this only do it once to me,i can tell you,i'm afraid i find it unacceptable!i dont suffer spongers,however that being said i've been out with friends who admit theyre skint,i'm happy to buy them a drink without expecting them to buy me one back.!

Hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
27/08/2009 23:09

Genuine friend with genuine problems then treat him. Might be you in same position one day. Next scenario, arrange with other friends that when you arrive, all to sit there until your 'problem child' buys a round. Could be interesting.

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
28/08/2009 09:12

just have a kitty and pt equal amount in. If he cant pay they he cant drink xx

Pipie


Joined: 05/01/2008
Posts: 5499

Message Posted:
28/08/2009 09:30

Nice one Lilli !!!!