Why can't members be more diplomatic/understanding

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 17:22

Please see the topic below:



http://www.cyprus44.com/forums/23829.asp



The actual subject is not important, it's the way a comment can easily turn into an argument.



Thanks



PC

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 17:49

Hi pinkchilli,

I thought that your question was important, so I took the time to read the thread that you indicated - I don't read every one, by any means, and those that do go bad, I run away from - screaming!

The first observation that I would make is that you did not, in fact, make a comment - you asked a question: "Why?"

This naturally invites people to voice their own opinions, but the problem is that those opinions simply stated in print, take on the force of 'statements of fact' - which others then dispute (often vigorously!).

In 'real life', people expresss their opinions as much with body language as with words, - a dismissive shrug may mean "well, that's my opinion for what it's worth", for instance.

In plain text, we get none of that, which is why the convention of using 'IMO' (in my opinion) - or even 'IMHO' (in my humble opinion' arose - continued...

keithcaley



Joined: 13/06/2008
Posts: 2521

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 17:49

this was widespread amongst the early Internet users, who were mainly Academics, and were quick to realise the shortcomings inherent in any communication where body language is not involved - or tone of voice, for that matter.

I do try to diffuse my statements (opinions) where appropriate, with either a little humour, a smiley perhaps, or something to indicate that it is not intended to be treated as though it is carved in tablets of stone

I did use IMO & IMHO on occasion, but 'Groucho' (of happy memory) used to tell me that it made me sound "Ever so 'umble" - like Charles Dickens' Uriah Heap! - So I stopped!

However, there may be a case for reviving it - IMHO

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 18:01

RE msg 1, pinkchilli: There's nothing wrong with a fierce debate or difference of opinion - in my humble opinion. I.e. as long as we keep talking/writing...

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 18:02

very well said keith xx

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 18:12

Hi Keith



Very good points.



Just one thing, when I mentioned the word "comment", it was not "MY" question I was referring to, it was another poster who responded to my question.



See how you bloody well, got the wrong end of the ******* stick. Why can't you understand my point. I do!



DC. See you can be non-confrontational.

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 18:23

RE msg 6, pinkchilli: (...) DC. See you can be non-confrontational. (...)

=> Everybody has the right to have an off-day.

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
08/10/2009 18:34

DC.



I'm hoping you have the occasional "on-day".



Very handy these " "