temporary Residency; turning cypriot!!

graycoul


Joined: 23/04/2009
Posts: 493

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 13:18

since getting my temporary residency i think im turning cypriot!!



i went fishing yesterday and through all my efes bottles and plastic bags in the sea after, i took twelve tiny fish home and through them away for no reason!



i went hunting sunday shot birds and finally a couple of dogs to take my frustration out!



ive started talking like i want a fight



i chuck litter out the car window



and ive started being inpatient and over taking with cars coming the other way, just to gain 20 metres!!



worst of all ive stated looking for galatasary football results!



is it just me??

nurseawful



Joined: 06/02/2009
Posts: 5934

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 13:35

Graycoul



What in Gods name are you going to do when you get permanent residency????

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 13:39

Have you started wishing shops had wider doors so that you could park inside, rather than on the pavement outside?

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 13:47

You now need to start working on not listening when and while being spoken to, but rather thinking about what YOU are going to say next. If something doesn't suit you and you are too tired to shrug your shoulders, remember to resort to the almost imperceptible 'backwards nod', or a curt 'click' of the tongue!



Forget the word 'queue' - oh, and you'll probably need to update your euphemistic repertoire to counter every query!

graycoul


Joined: 23/04/2009
Posts: 493

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 14:10

and tell people extactly what they want to hear and do nothing youve told them you would do



and of course never give way to anyone as your always in a hurry because your a day late....

joandjelly


Joined: 24/02/2008
Posts: 2953

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 17:40

Light up a fag and start texting on your mobile whilst trying to pull your double-parked car out into the main road. Oh and don't forget to drive around with your baby on your lap.

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 18:14

Whilst driving (preferably while doing several other things at the same time) do try to keep the use of indicators to an absolute minimum. If possible, don't use them at all. This also helps to make the driving of others more of a 'challenge' and we all know everyone likes a challenge!



I feel you are definitely going the right way for permanent residency. Good luck.

graycoul


Joined: 23/04/2009
Posts: 493

Message Posted:
28/10/2009 21:05

trnc vaughan

you right went to starlings lapta there was a 7 series pulled up right to th door almost blocking iand

the car park atthe same time and obviously a t.c got out!!!

everon


Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 956

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 14:54

dont forget to get a dog and ignore it, better still tie it to a tree, well away from your own house and let it bark all day and all night

parkview



Joined: 12/03/2009
Posts: 1123

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 15:49

Make sure you rubber neck whenever you see and accident or someone changing a tyre as this is considered a mark of respect!

Happy Hussar


Joined: 01/10/2008
Posts: 318

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 15:52

Come on Guys, let's give the Turkish Cypriots a break! You should hear yourselves!!!

Tony

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 15:57

Lets put the boot on the other foot - what would a TC have to start doing if he wanted to become more like an Ex-pat?

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 15:59

Vigorously scratching your 'nether regions' in public and refraining from paying attention to scrupulous personal hygiene, but dousing yourself liberally with the type of perfume one associates with a Parisienne bordello should earn you a few more Cypriot 'Brownie Points'!

pinkchilli


Joined: 30/11/2008
Posts: 689

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 19:12

For TRNC citizenship; it is imperative that you drive AT ALL TIMES with your fog lights on, especially during the middle of the day, in the height of summer.



Re: TRNC Vaughan, message 12, a TC wanting to become more like an ex-pat. You need to wear a white vest AT ALL TIMES, even in winter, preferably whislt ogling pretty Russian/Kazakhstan/ex-Soviet barmaids!

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 19:22

You know me too well!!

everon


Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 956

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 19:41

pinkchilli, dont forget the white socks, pulled up as high as possible and the vest should be grubby and bobbly, stretched over a huge beer belly!!!!!!! lovely!!!!!

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
29/10/2009 20:49

Let's not forget those Speedos. Most attractive on a middle-aged, pasty white bloke with a beer belly, especially in a restaurant.



Lovely

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
30/10/2009 09:00

Your name is 'Charlie Negwort' - address: 999, Canal Drive, Barnsley - you always wear a bogey-blathered 'white' handkerchief, knotted in four corners, on your 'bonce' and you never hear anything the first time, because you always say: 'Paardon?' Your grubby 'T' shirt should always expose your bloated midriff above your belly-button! Make sure that you are presenting this very image at every social occasion and, of course, especially in government or advocates' offices!

graycoul


Joined: 23/04/2009
Posts: 493

Message Posted:
30/10/2009 13:19

dont you have to wear your teams away shirt during the day awy shirt for evening meal out???



especailly if your from the north or a west ham supporter??

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
30/10/2009 13:37

Message 19 - yes, I love to see men in those shiny football outfits, particularly if it's three generations; Grandad, Dad and 'Junior'. The only one who can ever carry this off successfully is Junior.



I am saying nothing about northerners or West Ham Supporters



J

Jeannie


Joined: 04/08/2009
Posts: 3283

Message Posted:
30/10/2009 13:38

Message 19 - yes, I love to see men in those shiny football outfits, particularly if it's three generations; Grandad, Dad and 'Junior'. The only one who can ever carry this off successfully is Junior.



I am saying nothing about northerners or West Ham Supporters



J

parkview



Joined: 12/03/2009
Posts: 1123

Message Posted:
30/10/2009 16:25

mssg 12 - walk around half naked even if your 5 stone overweight, complain incessantly about the price of a beer, go to every kareoke bar around town thinking its the best night out, and this is for starters!