A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 10:01

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.

He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair... He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 10:01

'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....





'I HAVEN'T MADE THE FRIGGING PORRIDGE YET'

smithy


Joined: 17/07/2008
Posts: 5301

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 10:02

Thats more like it Bill, good one ) )

hattikins


Joined: 17/02/2008
Posts: 2793

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 10:36

Love it, and oh so true.

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 10:48

What are 'Mummy Bears' for?



'Put another log on the fire,

Boil me up some bacon and some beans,

Go out to the car,

Jack it up and change the tyre,

Wash my socks,

And sew my old blue jeans.

Then go light my pipe and fetch my slippers,

And boil me up another cup of tea,

Then put another log on the fire, Shiela,

And come and tell me why you're leaving me!'



We know how to treat women in New Zealand!

minertor



Joined: 14/02/2009
Posts: 1238

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 10:58

Msg 5, of course you do Ken, tell me again, what part of New Zealand is Bijou from. lol



Tony

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 12:41

Message 5. "We know how to treat women in New Zealand"



) ) )

dizzycows


Joined: 12/05/2009
Posts: 2736

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 12:44

MSG5 thought all women did this!!!!!!!!

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 19:02

All the NZ Women I encountered suffered from thunder thighs and could beat the shit out of any self respecting male!



Richard

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 19:09

Richard. Not real Men surely?

BoTanica


Joined: 22/12/2009
Posts: 714

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 19:40

Tenakoutou!!! Naughty man! One of my favourite songs!! Brings back many memories:



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSo4jp3aD6k

Brinsley


Joined: 04/04/2009
Posts: 6858

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 20:37

Msg 11

Are you accusing Roy of plagiarism? Just wait until you hear his renditions of Kevin 'bloody' Wilson!



Richard

BoTanica


Joined: 22/12/2009
Posts: 714

Message Posted:
06/01/2010 22:41

Brinsley;



Never!! Its those Americans!! They ripp us off with everything! ıncluding all those sexy love songs!! who can resit washing socks, making tea??? WE love to do those things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did God make our feet smaller than men's? ...........



So we can stand closer to the sink!! We know our place! We are so GRATEFUL................ .

.

.

.

.

.

yeah,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

effing right - want' a fight????????? ha ha !

Tenakoutou



Joined: 27/07/2009
Posts: 4110

Message Posted:
07/01/2010 16:19

Minertor/Msg 6: Er, Dracula's castle - but you already know that, Tony!



2nd verse of 'Put another log on the fire.'



'Ain't I kinda nice to your kid sister,

Don't I take her drivin' every night,

Ain't I gonna take ya fishin' with me some day?

Now you know that it ain't feminine to fight!



Don't I let ya wash the car on Sundays,

Don't I tell ya when you're gettin' fat?

So sit here by my feet,

An' tell me that you're sweet,

Cos a man can't love a woman more than that!



Now, put another log on the fire,

Boil me up some bacon and some beans,

Go out to the car, lift it up and change the tyre,

Wash my socks an' sew my old blue jeans,

Then go light my pipe an' fetch my slippers,

An' boil me up another cuppa tea,

Then put another log on the fire, Sheila,

An' come an' tell me why you're leavin' me!'



Did I get it right, BoTanica? - Only from memory!



I'll log on to your 'U' Tube version for verification!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
07/01/2010 16:24

"Now, put another log on the fire,

Boil me up some bacon and some beans,

Go out to the car, lift it up and change the tyre,

Wash my socks an' sew my old blue jeans,

Then go light my pipe an' fetch my slippers,

An' boil me up another cuppa tea,

Then put another log on the fire, Sheila"



Sounds like my kind of woman! )