Last joke, promise

alanka


Joined: 15/09/2007
Posts: 154

Message Posted:
09/10/2010 22:31

If you don't laugh at this one, you're dead!



Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair,



and loved to charge around the nursing home,



taking corners on one wheel



and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.



Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic



the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.



One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor



when a door opened and Kooky Clarence



stepped out with his arm outstretched.



'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice.



'Have you got a license for that thing?'



Ethel fished around in her handbag



and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper



and held it up to him.



'OK' he said,



and away Ethel sped down the hall.



As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel,



weird Harold popped out in front of her



and shouted 'STOP!



Have you got proof of insurance?'



Ethel dug into her handbag,



pulled out a drink coaster



and held it up to him.



Harold nodded a

alanka


Joined: 15/09/2007
Posts: 154

Message Posted:
09/10/2010 22:32

Harold nodded and said



'On your way, Ma'am.'



As Ethel neared the final corridor,



Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her,



Butt- Naked, and holding



his 'You-Know- What' in his hand.











'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel,















'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!'

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
09/10/2010 22:43

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!



The husband leans over and asks his wife,

'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.' 'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.' 'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'

'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'



A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation

And, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.

I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.

So he follows them.



The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks..

Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence..

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.

As she lean

apc2010


Joined: 28/07/2010
Posts: 1689

Message Posted:
09/10/2010 22:44

electric fence ???

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
09/10/2010 22:44

Cont:

As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in...

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.

This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises

And moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.



The policeman is amazed.He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..



After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering,

The old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on.

The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself,

This is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.



So, as the couple passes, he says to them,

'Excuse me, but that was something else.

You must've had a fantastic sex life together.

Is there some sort of secret to this?'



Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence!'

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
09/10/2010 22:45

APC 2010.



Very quick mate.