A really silly joke. Well it made me laugh

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 00:06

A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.



A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had.



The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.'



The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.'



The little boy replied, 'If you rub turpentine on a cat's ass, he'll pass a Harley Davidson!'

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 00:11

Yea it made me laugh...

LaptaMike


Joined: 07/10/2009
Posts: 1679

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 00:11

hahaha, made me laugh aswell mate.

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 00:14

Must buy a telly.

Stewart


Joined: 19/07/2008
Posts: 1107

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 15:19

Chinese guy got a job, in charge of supplies.....on his first day his boss could not find him, walking pass the broom cupboard the door flung open and the chinese guy jumps out shouting "suplize!"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 16:00

People call me a hypercondriac, but with over 40,000,000 types of bacteria in the world, several of which can easily give you flu or a cough, there is no way to ignore the fact that we could all die any minute.    

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 17:27

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.





The waitress asks them for their orders.



The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'

'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.



A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.



The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'

The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'



Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.



This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.



'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..

' Same for me,' says the emu.



Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'



Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his poc

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 17:29

Cont:

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.



The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'



'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.



My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'



'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'



'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man.

Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'





The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish w

chiangbill



Joined: 21/07/2010
Posts: 137

Message Posted:
10/10/2010 17:30

Cont: again.



The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 21:58

There once was a king who lived in two-story grass hut. Every holiday the king demanded to be given a new throne as a gift. As soon as a new throne arrived, he would store the old throne on the second level of his hut and use the new one instead. But one day the hut collapsed from the weight of all the thrones, and everyone was crushed and killed.



The moral of this story? Those who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 22:02

There were 3 people skydiving, they all chuck something out of the helicopter before they jump out.

1 throws and rock another throws a brick and the other throws a grenade.

after the skydiving they go and take a walk around town they go down this street and see a woman crying

"whats the matter?" they asked

"a stone fell from they sky and killed my cat" said the woman

they continued to walk down the street and they see another woman crying

"whats the matter?"

"a brick fell from the sky and killed my dog"

once again they continued to walk down the street feeling pretty guilty and cam across a guy who was laughing his head off

"whats the matter?"

"i came outside my house to get the paper, bent down and farted the turned to look at my house and it had blown up!!!!"

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 22:58

A scruffy, long haired, youth wearing sandals and smelling of wacky baccy entered the Bank of Ireland and was directed to Mr Whack, the business loans sub manager, as he wanted a loan. When asked by the sub manager what security he could offer the hippie said his father was Mick Jagger and he also produced from his rucksack what he said was a valuable artifact. Bemused and indecisive the sub manager took the hippie to the Bank Manager where the story was repeated. The Bank Manger said "Its a Nick Knack, Paddy Whack, give the man his loan, his old man is a Rolling Stone" !

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 23:04

) ) )

Aysesdaddy



Joined: 21/03/2009
Posts: 392

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 00:55

A bear walks into a bar and says, "Can I have a ........................................................... beer please?"

The barman says, "Yes of course but why the big pause?"

The bear says, "I don't know I have always had them !!"

bazilbrush


Joined: 29/03/2008
Posts: 404

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 10:11

I saw exploding prayer mats in town yesterday for sale. I asked the shop owner if they were selling ok and he said...............Prophets were going through the roof..........!!!

shrimp


Joined: 01/09/2010
Posts: 939

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 10:28

what do you call a french man wearing sandles..........................................................................................ferlippe ferloppe...........boom boom!!