Joke: Paddy does, goes, says... etc

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 22:07

Paddy goes to the vet with his goldfish.



"I think it's got epilepsy" he tells the vet.



Vet takes a look and says "It seems calm enough to me".



Paddy says, "I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet".

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 22:18

Paddy's in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his

Feet.



"What the hell you doing?" he asks.



"Hanging myself" Paddy replies.



"It should be around your neck" says the Guard.



"I know" says Paddy "but I couldn't breathe".

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 22:27

An American tourist asks an Irishman:

"Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"



To which the Irishman replies:

"If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat."

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
11/10/2010 23:35

An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999.



Irishman: ''Its my fookin wife! Ive accidentally shot her, Ive fookin killed her''.



Operator: ''Please calm down sir, can you first make sure she is actually dead.''



*Click*...........*BANG*



Irishman:'' Okay, Ive fookin done that, what next?''.

Pa-trick


Joined: 23/09/2010
Posts: 37

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 00:30

I suppose that an objection to this type of stereotypical insult is met with oh.. lighten up..it's only a joke..where's your sense of humour?...etc. Try starting a joke with ....There was this nigger right... And see how you feel about that statement. If it feels uncomfortable, then you have a conscience. If you feel nothing at all, your just a racist bigoted arsehole. Just the personal opinion of an Irishman.

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 00:36

And the fact that Paddy is both the short version of your name and also a nickname for irishman has nothing to do with it

Not meaning to be offensive Patrick, I got years of abuse for being scottish and therefore understand where you are coming from but it is unfortunately a stereotypical thing about our histories I'm afraid. In these modern times of political correctness you are pretty certain to be offending someone no matter the subject but in my particular case I will try to avoid publishing Irish jokes on the forum.

Pa-trick


Joined: 23/09/2010
Posts: 37

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 00:48

Oh well Pronger if the best you can manage is a patronising acceptance that this sort of behaviour goes unchallenged, that's up to you. I however reserve the right to my dignity and self respect as a proud Irishman that has served for 23 years as a SNCO and latterly Commissioned Officer in the Royal Air Force. I have served and been served both loyally and with respect.

I note from you comment that you will try to avoid publishing Irish jokes on the forum, why not just avoid?

proger1



Joined: 18/04/2009
Posts: 2919

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 01:03

Calm down tiger, I was just for a change agreeing with someone and not being patronising in the slightest.



I should have just said, I agreed with you but I tried to be a smart arse sorry. Stick to your pride Pat, I will stick to my stupid comments and hopefully not upset you with any comments. I can control publishing because that is my choice, I can't avoid them if I just open a post and it is there can I.

apc2010


Joined: 28/07/2010
Posts: 1689

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 01:41

pa-trick are you really an irish builder ..or is that a joke..????

straitasadie


Joined: 14/09/2009
Posts: 450

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 08:13

so why do the irish tell kerry jokes

Pa-trick


Joined: 23/09/2010
Posts: 37

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 10:15

Yes I am a builder. No it's not a joke. I have built 5 houses and just completing number 6. Number 6 will be my last and our home. I don't tell Kerry jokes. In fact I don't make remarks that insult peoples feelings at all. I came on to this board hoping to make a respectful contribution. However some of what I have witnessed of late fall well within the category of just bitter and nasty. My decision has been to withdraw from participation. I will without reservation always stand up to people who attempt to ridicule others or bully via this faceless communication medium.



To conclude, I am very disappointed at the conduct and attitude of a minority on this board, particularly when it has so much to offer. Like of many good things, it's not appreciated until it's gone or ruined.



Good luck

vonny


Joined: 25/06/2009
Posts: 476

Message Posted:
12/10/2010 11:17

Ohhh Please,Paddy, Take a chill pill. They are jokes.We have jokes about English,Irish Scottish and about so many nationalities.Im Scottish,we're meant to be tight, My great grandmother was born in Lurgan,Ireland so i have Irish blood in me.Maybe you have a chip on your shoulder or clearly dont understand jokes.



PS Little advice for you though, If you come to Cyprus and you go scuba diving,make sure you fall backwards off the boat cos if you fall forward, you'll still be on the bloody boat!