Work wanted for 22 yr old turkish male

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 14:26

hi

i am posting this for my boyfriend. He has experience in the chef trade and at the moment he is working for a steel company - not quite sure what they call it!!!

He is willing to take on any full time job, so that he can support me in order for me to move out there and be with him.

He is a 22 yr old turkish male and is very hard working.

thanks

elaine

Elliecy


Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 153

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 14:36

Hi Elaine



Maybe he could try the Savoy? They have just opened (I think) and may need staff?

p.s Just noticed yr age (and his) - you lucky gal!

joandjelly


Joined: 24/02/2008
Posts: 2953

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 14:57

Hi Elaine



Is he actually wanting to work as a Chef?

Mr Vince


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 696

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 19:25

Does he have a younger sister.



Grumpy Old Git Moan 3

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 20:40

Could be a passport in it...

hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 21:15

This was discussed a liitle while ago



http://www.cyprus44.com/forums/1691.asp

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 22:44

passport for who?

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 22:45

susanne what do you mean "when will they ever learn"?

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 22:46

Only jesting! Good luck but look out for yourself.

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 22:47

ptepike why are u saying this??? Is there something i should know? I know turkish men want english gf's for passports, but it's me who's coming to him.

hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 22:51

He would face immigration problems coming to you. Did you read the previous thread? I'm sure others are simply trying to warn you not judge.

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 23:21

Hector

he's not coming to me., I'm coming to him. i know people are trying to warn me. I've had lots of my friends do the same thing, but surely there must be some nice turks out there. I've known him just over a year, I came out there 2 weeks ago and had week with him and to me there has to be some element of trust and the only way to find out the truth is to live together for a while surely? He's already told me we can't live together till he finds good work so surely that's saying something about his attitude towards me.

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 23:23

joandjelly



do you know of any work going?

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 23:23

elliecy



i will let him know about the Savoy. thanks

DutchCrusader



Joined: 19/05/2008
Posts: 11281

Message Posted:
02/09/2008 23:57

RE uzhan4elaine : (...) He's already told me we can't live together till he finds good work so surely that's saying something about his attitude towards me. (...)



===> Hmmm. It may indeed.

w26kay



Joined: 14/10/2007
Posts: 479

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 00:01

uzhan4elaine Good Luck to you and your other half.

Most people will offer you opinions on a friendly and concerned basis. However, it's only you who can make decisions for your life. Rightly or wrongly.



You only live once - so they say, so make the most of your life.

Regards.

Kay.

TRNCVaughan


Joined: 27/04/2008
Posts: 4578

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 08:40

I'm with MrVince on this one. We could all do with a girl/boyfriend half our age!!

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 12:14

To everyone who is offering me advice. I posted on here for work and it's now turning into a "lonely hearts" column.



i understand what everyone is telling me and i value everyone's opinion. I'm sure a lot of you have had first hand experience of this. And i am aware of what turkish boys are like cos i've had lots of dealings with them in the past on the internet.



And i do ask myself why a 22yr old wants to be with a 44 yr old and i will always ask myself that question, but until i've at least tried living with him i'm never going to know the answer am i?



Thanks for the advice folks but for my own piece of mind, i have to at least give him a chance to prove himself and his love. If it doesn't work out, then i can always come home.



Ps As this posting was originally for work, if you know of any, then please let me know.

thanks guys.

Elliecy


Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 153

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 13:24

Elaine, again it's that generalisation. I'm sure you're not stupid and have considered everything, so good luck. I hope he can find work and I hope everything works out for you

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 16:10

Elliecy, thanks for your kind message and i've told him about the Savoy, so if he wants me out there, he needs to go speak to them. It's up to him!!

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 16:43

Elaine,



I think if you're in the UK, your boyfriend is in the TRNC and he's Turkish, then he's in a better position than most of us here to secure work for himself. Has he told you he can't find a job?

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 17:28

PtePike

He's said that if he wants well paid work, then he will have to work 6-7 days a week and lots of hours each day. To be fair, nobody wants to have to do that - not even me!!!



He's not scared of working hard - i've been out there and i've seen what he has to do at the moment. Lifting heavy metal bars and fitting them in that heat must be hell, but he does it (6 days a week) so it's not that he's scared of hard work. But his job is coming to an end cos all the work is nearly finished, so he's said he will look for something else.



I just thought from reading posts on here, that if i could look too, then i could let him know if people are looking for workers. Isn't that what these boards are for???



Let's face it, if he wants me out there he WILL find work won't he!! I know what people think of the age difference but i don't love him cos he's younger than me. If people knew my real story then they would understand me. But i'm not here to discuss my love life, i'm only trying to help him so that i can move there and be with him. That way, i will know if the age difference is for a uk passport or if it's for love. I ain't marrying him until i've lived with him first.

Mr Vince


Joined: 24/07/2008
Posts: 696

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 17:31

Hi Vaughan



Only half our age? I am lokin for 2 that added together would be about half my age

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 17:34

Don't burn your bridges but I wish you well.

Top Cat



Joined: 03/09/2008
Posts: 2

Message Posted:
03/09/2008 17:45

Be careful very very careful, how many times will this happen before lesson learnt.

Only writing this because we all care.

hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
04/09/2008 17:57

Top Cat

Wise words. Welcome to the forum.

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
04/09/2008 18:41

will someone please explain to me fully why i need to be so careful. what is happening to others? I am new to all this so please if people are having bad experiences i would like to know. thanks guys

ttoli


Joined: 24/03/2007
Posts: 1172

Message Posted:
04/09/2008 19:48

Elaine, I truly hope that it all works well for you, I know a few ladies in relationships with Turkish men and for them it works well, HOWEVER in other instances, Foreign Men expect women to behave as they would in their own society, the woman stays at home, is 100% obidient and has No life of her own,(Checking calls made/received/Texts etc on Mobiles is commonplace).

Many have been fleeced of their life savings(My father needs an emergency Operation/I'm building a new home for us - only to find that the deeds are solely in His name). As I say I hope that it all does work for you, but dont burn your bridges(is it possible to get an extended career break?).

Reading between the lines I'd say that this couldnt have come at a better time for you, just dont dive in head first. Good luck

PtePike



Joined: 20/05/2008
Posts: 2334

Message Posted:
04/09/2008 20:15

"...just dont dive in head first."



And watch out that he doesn't either.

hector


Joined: 26/08/2008
Posts: 2352

Message Posted:
04/09/2008 20:51

Have a look at



http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/article1574750.ece



just an example of why to be careful.

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
04/09/2008 22:24

well guys, i'm listening to your advice and have decided that if i go over there, i will go for 3 months and take it from there. that way i will still have my career to come back should it all go wrong.



I won't go to live in turkey, as i have told him cos i will never be treated or act like a turkish girl and this has been made very clear to him. He says i can live in cyprus and be and act like myself.



In 1 year, he's never asked me for money and i know he doesn't have much. Even when i was there and i had some left over, he wouldn't take it from me. So i don't think asking me for money is going to be an issue.



As for the uk passprt, well how long's a piece of string guys?

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
05/09/2008 09:23

Hi

It is so difficult when your heart rules your head. I am glad you are listening to what everyone is saying. Do not burn your bridges.

These young guys are fresh from charm school.

Oh it sounds so wonderful that he doesn't want to live with you until he finds a good job. What are the prospects of him finding a good job? Have you met his mother as his "girlfriend"!!

As for him not asking or taking money off you, this is how these guys build up your trust...it is called grooming......all we are saying is watch for the signs and good luck.

We read what he is saying differently because we are listening with our heads.

Good Luck

stevie-d



Joined: 13/07/2007
Posts: 1420

Message Posted:
05/09/2008 10:35

Gaun Yersel. All the very best to you both enjoy every minute. To hell with the hecklers.

stevie-d

joandjelly


Joined: 24/02/2008
Posts: 2953

Message Posted:
05/09/2008 10:50

"As for him not asking or taking money off you, this is how these guys build up your trust...it is called grooming......all we are saying is watch for the signs and good luck."



This is a bit of a sweeping statement! Do you have direct experience of being "groomed" by a Turkish man? This lady sounds like she has her head screwed on so please give her some credit. She is only asking about job opportunities and I find some of these comments a bit offensive as you wouldn't be saying the same things if her boyfriend was British.



Elaine, I'm sorry but I don't know of any jobs going at the moment but I will keep my ears open. Good luck to both of you. As you say, if you don't give it a go you will never know.

dalartokat


Joined: 14/04/2008
Posts: 734

Message Posted:
05/09/2008 11:11

JoandJelly, hear hear! well said.

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
05/09/2008 13:07

Joeandkelly Dalar



Yes I would and I have in the same context to a most beautiful 57 lady whom fell for a LOVE RAT 200 miles away from her in the UK whom she had known for years, he was mates with her son.

He told her of his undying love, treated her like a Queen for months bought her everything, gave her money never much but enough to make a difference to someone on benifits (grooming).

Then it started, he was away on business so wouldn't be able to make it etc etc. She spent months crying.

He mentioned he was moving into a new house but had a problem with paying his deposit prior to his salary coming in, could she loan him £1500 he gave her his bank details, she was on benifits but could use her credit card he knew how much available balance she had, she was prepared to do it, I begged her not to, she didn't do it in the end.

Never heard from him for a few weeks, an apologic text then arrived, he was busy moving in and thankyou for the money he will pay it back ASAP????. So how many other women was he charming, she never heard from him again.



SO

lets look at the facts as to this board.

42 female falls for a 22 male.

WE KNOW AS SHE IS PREPARED TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING

He pronounces his undying love and lives a few thousand miles away.

Lady, is swept off her feet, who can blame her.

SO

She gives up EVERYTHING for him.

He is not even prepared to leave home as he wants to "support her well".... thats a new one!! What a wonderful person he is, really thinking about her welfare and spending time with her.But then he is only 22.

He also has to fit in the long hours at work,go home to mother(has she met mother yet)?

Seems she will be spending a long time alone.

He is looking for a job to support her! on a small island everyone knows everyone, he is in with a better chance of finding "That Job" than the lady.

PILLOW TALK TO ME.

Absolutley No insult intended to Elaine,nor to that matter her young man. But a "Rain Check" is needed.

Seen it happen before. I might add I am having a bit of success matchmaking, really chuffed two couples put together one couple getting married.

I only like to see people HAPPY EVER AFTER.

dalartokat


Joined: 14/04/2008
Posts: 734

Message Posted:
05/09/2008 13:35

uzhan4elaine Learning the language is a must, it can work. Good luck

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
06/09/2008 01:59

42 female falls for a 22 male.



WE KNOW AS SHE IS PREPARED TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING



He pronounces his undying love and lives a few thousand miles away.



Lady, is swept off her feet, who can blame her.



SO



She gives up EVERYTHING for him.



He is not even prepared to leave home as he wants to "support her well".... thats a new one!! What a wonderful person he is, really thinking about her welfare and spending time with her.But then he is only 22.



OK EVERY1, THIS POSTING IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL NOW.



step no 1 - I have not been swept off my feet at all. I turned down 2 offers of going to meet him when he first asked me last christmas. I even told him to delete me from his phone and msn and i did the same. I had no feelings for him whatsoever until about 5 months ago, so this has happened on MY terms NOT his!!!



step no 2 - He does NOT live at home with "mummy" like u all think he does. Yes u lot - u are all THINKING, without finding out the facts first. He actually lives with 5 other guys in what i would call a "slum", but if he's happy living there then i am happy for him.



step no 3 - i am NOT naive, i am NOT letting my heart rule my head, i am NOT stupid, i am NOT being taken for a ride and i DO have my head screwed on the right way!



step no 4 - I have NOT met his parents yet, as they live in turkey and he lives in cyprus and there's only so much a person can do in 1 week. I am actually going to meet them at christmas when i go back out.



step no 5 - I am NOT giving up everything for him. I am mearly wishing to live with him for a few months then take it from there. That way, I still have my career to fall back on should it all go wrong and if i do end up living with him and buying a property out there, i will put it in MY name only , and NOT his. I ain't daft!!!



Step 6 - i am actually, as we speak, learning turkish.



step 7 - i understand lots of people out there have bad experiences, but i have had bad experiences with English men so all over the world there are creeps - LOTS OF THEM!!!



step 8 - thank you to all of those who are trying to offer me advice. I DO take it all in but in the end, i WILL make up my own mind and if i don't give him a chance then i will never know the truth will i???

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
06/09/2008 02:03

thanks to joandjelly, stevie-d and dalartokat for their kind words.



to all the others - GIVE ME SOME CREDIT - come on!!!!! i wasn't born yesterday!!!

gillken


Joined: 25/05/2008
Posts: 521

Message Posted:
06/09/2008 11:13

Elaine



Fantastic so pleased that you have your head screwed on.



Go for it ...Enjoy yourself, you only live once.

uzhan4elaine


Joined: 30/08/2008
Posts: 76

Message Posted:
06/09/2008 13:18

thanks gillken xx