Neg Nick "joke of the week"

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
15/01/2011 20:37

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.



The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.



The man went back to his reading.

A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.



Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.



As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before.



Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, “I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve sneezed three times, wipe your nose and then shudder violently. Are you OK?”



The woman replied, “I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition, whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm.”





Cont'd....................

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
15/01/2011 20:38

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious “I have never heard of that condition before” he said “are you taking anything for it?”



The woman nodded,























"Pepper."

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
15/01/2011 20:39

I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai bird.



I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection. Please don't get an erection."









But she did.

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
15/01/2011 20:43

Two Irish hunters from Dublin hired a pilot to fly them to England to hunt Deer. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the plane can take only three Deer.



The two Paddys objected strongly, stating; "Last year we shot six Deer and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours."



Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.



Unfortunately, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few minutes after takeoff. Climbing out of the wreck, Pat asked Shaun, "Any idea where we are?"



Shaun replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."



_________________

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
16/01/2011 17:11

A lad came home from school and excitedly told his dad that he had been chosen for a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.



His father said, "Never mind son, maybe next year you'll get a speaking part."

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
16/01/2011 17:47

A policeman pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic.



He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer".



The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note.



On it was written:



"This man suffers from chronic asthma.

Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".



The policeman said "Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample"



The man produced another letter.



This one said:



”This man is a haemophiliac.

Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".



So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".



The man produces a third letter from his pocket.



It read:



"This man rides a Harley; please don't take the piss out of him"