Joke: Once upon a time..

shrimp


Joined: 01/09/2010
Posts: 939

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 20:17

Once upon a time, a man asked a girl to marry him, the girl said "no!" And she lived happily ever after, and went shopping, dancing and drinking. She always had a clean house, never cooked and looked

fabulous all the time. The end.

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 20:37

BTTT ?







Spider,X

shrimp


Joined: 01/09/2010
Posts: 939

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 20:42

who said this was a joke............... mods???????????

spider


Joined: 03/01/2009
Posts: 5527

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 20:54

were you looking for the book club ?







Spider,X

Scoty


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 846

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:03

And the punch line is ?

A very sad old underfed alcoholic and poor woman!

then she woke up.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:04

A wife asks her husband, a software engineer; "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!"

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had eggs."    

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:13

Bill, They jokes about eggs its not all its cracked up to be..........

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:15

Jock. I thought it was a good yoke! ;))

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:15

I agree jock1 these yokes are not all...............

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:18

ok why did the hen lay her egg on an axe...? she wanted to hatchet...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:19

eggsactly!!! )

Scoty


Joined: 23/05/2010
Posts: 846

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:20

Why did the chicken cross the road?

IbrahimAbi


Joined: 24/10/2010
Posts: 245

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:23

to get a better look at the weather cock

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:26

could have been in vain.

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:31

If you think your life is bad..think of a egg..it gets laid once..and takes 4 minutes to get hard.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:33

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else... After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:34

Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:37

Brilliant !!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:47

I was in the pub with the Mrs last night and I said, ''I love you.''



She said, ''Is that you or the beer talking?''



I replied, ''It's me... talking to the beer!''    

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:54

2 eggs walk into a pub with a bit bacon..barmen says sorry we dont serve breakfast...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 21:57

I have duja ve.



I think I've been dyslexic before.    

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 22:00

I just watched the film "Iron Lady" about Margaret Thatcher.



It was rubbish. Not once did I see her doing any ironing.    

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 22:41

Nice on No1.....still chuckling...

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 22:42

Crap at typing....I should have written....

Nice one No1.....still chuckling..

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
15/02/2011 23:15

Blackbird - I knew what you meant! )

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
16/02/2011 00:29

The Wildebeest (bless her) keeps telling me that a woman's work is never done and I keep telling her that's because it is necessary to get off a fat a...e and start it !