Joke: Important Information about the Human Body

malsancak


Joined: 23/08/2009
Posts: 2874

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 10:19

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3kg. The length of a penis is 3 x the length of the thumb. The femur is as hard as concrete. A woman's heart beats faster then a man's. Women blink 2x as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to keep our balance when we stand. A woman has read this entire post. The man is still looking at his thumb.

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 10:21

"The length of a penis is 3 x the length of the thumb."



Is that why the ladies stare at men's hands?

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 12:07

It could be why so many men wear Gloves in cold weather

Garythegeezer


Joined: 05/02/2007
Posts: 102

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 12:31

I can definately state that "The length of a penis is 3 x the length of the thumb." is untrue, mine is 4 and I am not going to cut a thumbs worth of to be normal ;)

Pipie


Joined: 05/01/2008
Posts: 5499

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 12:56

A thumbs up for this post !!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 17:19

Mines is 12 inches long...and i dont use it as a rule........r

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 17:46

Anyone know a cure for flacid thumbs ?

Hoylemiller



Joined: 03/09/2010
Posts: 240

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 18:31

They say that sex is the best form of exercise.

Now correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.

deputydawg


Joined: 30/03/2010
Posts: 1727

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 18:49

Struggled with the maths for 3 X thumbs as I only have two thumbs so measured those and added to it the length of one large toe (a red one, swollen with gout, as I could not reach the other which has an ingrowing toenail). My conclusion is that Jock1 must have used a metric ruler and has mistaken 12 centimetres for 12 inches or Royal Marines are more susceptible to substance abuse than Grunts.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 20:12

Do you measure from the tip of the nail back down to where the thumb starts to curve upwards towards the forefinger?

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 22:21

Now...as a rough rule of thumb!!!!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 23:25

Peter. Hurry up! I'm still holding the tape measure )

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
25/03/2011 23:40

Just a few inches No1.......It's cold here!!!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
26/03/2011 00:10

) ) )

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
26/03/2011 00:13

Yes No1 - it really is!!!

jock1



Joined: 06/01/2008
Posts: 3786

Message Posted:
26/03/2011 09:10

..........

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
26/03/2011 09:13

It's funny how your thumbs don't shrink in cold water.....

Dreamydiver



Joined: 30/08/2010
Posts: 306

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 06:49

It's amazing how little things keep men amused!

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 10:41

Yes and for hours on end...

Blackbird



Joined: 11/08/2009
Posts: 1432

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 14:34

Dreamydiver......It's amazing how 'little' things keep men amused. How d'you know?

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 18:44

Who said it's little? )

Smity



Joined: 14/09/2009
Posts: 826

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 19:26

Loved the last bit how many blokes looked at their thumbs when the read this

I Did

and boy Im I glad LOL

Hoylemiller



Joined: 03/09/2010
Posts: 240

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 21:13

Subject: DR NKOSAZANA ZUMA'S LIST OF MEDICAL TERMS



Artery : The study of paintings

Bacteria : Back door of the cafeteria

Barium : What u do with dead patients

Bowels : A E I O U

Caesarean Section : A suburb in Rome

Cat scan : A search for kitty

D & C : Where Washington is

Dilate : To live longer

Enema : Not your friend

Fester : Quicker

Genital : Not a Jew

Impotent : Distinguished and well known

Labour pain : Getting hurt at work

Medical Staff : Doctor's walking stick

Morbid : Higher offer

Nitrates : Cheaper than day rates

Out Patient : A person who's fainted

Pelvis : A friend of Elvis

Post Operative : A letter cou

ttoli


Joined: 24/03/2007
Posts: 1172

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 21:19

Do you reckon Prince Charles ever looks at a £10 note and thinks 'I've licked her nipples'

Groucho



Joined: 26/04/2008
Posts: 7993

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 22:11

Well not if he's looking at Charles Darwin.... but then again...

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
27/03/2011 22:33

) ) )