Neg Nick "joke of the Week"

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 15:49

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and an African went to a night club.



































The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 16:01

Man walks into a library and asks for a book on the Australian wilderness.





Librarian "I'll get it for you, its Outback"

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 16:02

While creating Eve, God promised Adam that perfect women could be found in every corner of the world.

Then He made the Earth round.

jacroy1


Joined: 04/08/2010
Posts: 127

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 16:04

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?

A dinosnore!



What is the fruitiest lesson?

History, because it's full of dates!



What language do they speak in Cuba?

Cubic!



Why did the stupid racing driver make ten pitstops during the race?

He was asking for directions!



How do you keep an imbecile happy all his life?

Tell him a joke

when he's a baby!



What illness did everyone on the Enterprise catch?

Chicken Spocks!

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 16:16

Michael O'Leary of Ryanair goes into a Dublin pub and asks for a pint of Guinness.



"That will be one Euro, please," says the barman.



"That's a very fair price," replies O'Leary.



"Would you like a glass with that, sir?" asks the barman.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 16:17

Paddy phones EasyJet to book a flight.

"Certainly, sir," replies the assistant. "And how many will be flying with you, Mr O'Toole?"

Paddy replies, "How should I know? It's your plane."

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 16:19

Paddy & Mick are walking down the road and Paddy's got a bag of doughnuts in his hand.



Paddy says to Mick, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, You can have them both"

Tiggy


Joined: 25/07/2007
Posts: 1994

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 18:30

Billy is taking part in a quiz and is asked "what is the capital of France" ?



Billy thinks for quiet a while and then reply's..................."F"

martinD41


Joined: 06/09/2010
Posts: 3001

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 19:46

A man bought a house in the TRNC ,and rightly expected that he would own it ......

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
08/04/2011 23:51

) ) )

negativenick


Joined: 10/11/2008
Posts: 6023

Message Posted:
09/04/2011 07:35

mess 9 - one of the funiest things i've seen posted here..................

Hoylemiller



Joined: 03/09/2010
Posts: 240

Message Posted:
09/04/2011 12:23

Blonde takes her broken car to the mechanic.

"Nothin serious love, just shit in the air filter"

"Great" she replies. "How often should i do that?"