Joke: Mental health hotline,,,

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:01

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer you.

If you are dyslexic, press 96696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.



Cont...

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:02

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.



Thank you for calling.

harita


Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 1343

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:14

Tootie ..

If you think that is funny .. I suggest YOU start ringing the Mental health hotline pronto ..

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:22

Msg 3. Should I press number 7 then?

harita


Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 1343

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:34

Moderators .. With the risk of getting a ban myself ..



Please close this thread and ban the T**T ..



My son suffers with Bi-polar & he hasn't half touched a nerve ..

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:44

I agree msg 5 and im very sorry. please accept my apologies.

I posted without thinking and in bad taste.



Phil

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:46

which topics are ok for humour ?

harita


Joined: 14/08/2008
Posts: 1343

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:49

Apology accepted .. Its hard to understand but when a friend or family suffers it hurts ..

Lilli



Joined: 21/07/2008
Posts: 13081

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:51

well done Toots. xxxxx

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 18:56

Thank you, and again im sorry to upset,

Simbas please remove my post or even better the whole thread.



Yellow card will be accepted.

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:04

I hate being bipolar, i think it's fantastic



this is a joke on the internet at the moment



My point is where to draw the line?

Zoots


Joined: 05/02/2011
Posts: 669

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:11

I may have Alzeimers but at least I don't have Alzeimers.

This was a favourite of a mate - whose mother died of the disease. Call black humour a coping mechanism for some and bad taste to others. And funny to even more.

0maintenance


Joined: 22/09/2010
Posts: 2179

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:21

The headline of the thread should of said it all and any 1 who might be offended with a mental health joke should not of read the post.

I agree with message 11.



Where do you draw the line!

MsGarnet


Joined: 04/01/2009
Posts: 989

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:21

I want to know what T**T stands for.......seriously - don't know......someone give me a clue?



Would have known if it was T****R but T**T? nope - can't think.......

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:23

i hardly think tootie was aiming this at any one in particular , it did say JOKE .

0maintenance


Joined: 22/09/2010
Posts: 2179

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:25

If i wanted to be pedantic i could of said to message 5. oh my god, T**T that is shocking lanuage to call some 1 on this forum,but of course it could of meant TWIT!

rowlo



Joined: 12/10/2008
Posts: 4796

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:29

no you bring up the chinese stutterer , is that twit for txat ?

0maintenance


Joined: 22/09/2010
Posts: 2179

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:32

This is what the internet think of this joke.



About this joke

User rating

7.15 out of 10

Category

Lists of Jokes

http://www.jokesplace.com/joke/mentalhealth.html

philbailey


Joined: 17/01/2011
Posts: 3534

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 19:34

So ethnic (irish etc) , mental health , current news , are all taboo

yet political threads are allowed ?



At least the jokes are jokes

the political situations are real





Very strange

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 20:04

Tootie. As you started the thread can you confirm that you want it closed please.

Tootie


Joined: 28/08/2008
Posts: 2037

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 20:13

I have said all I have to say bill.

I did not mean to upset anyone by posting the "joke" although....

What is posted after my msg 10 is not upto me to moderate?



It was only a joke and NOT personal.

No1Doyen


Joined: 04/07/2008
Posts: 16617

Message Posted:
18/05/2011 20:21

This thread is now closed.



Reason: Thread was closed at the request of the original poster.